


When Rationality Prevails

by Chikabiddy



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 09:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19827358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikabiddy/pseuds/Chikabiddy
Summary: This is a S1 finale fix-it-fic written for the 2K fix-it-fic challenge.





	When Rationality Prevails

**Author's Note:**

> So, let me apologize in advance. This is nowhere near my best work, but it's the first thing I've been able to write in months and I thought I should reward myself by posting it. Sorry for the roughness, I know it can be a little jarring and disjointed, but I hope you enjoy it none-the-less! :)

Veronica couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy. Despite having her relationship with Logan revealed completely unexpectedly, she felt more excitement than anything else. She laughed as Logan danced from the room and settled in to wait. She had forgotten what peace felt like. As she lay on the bed, something glinted on the ceiling fan. She stood to get a closer look, and her creeping fear was confirmed: there was a camera in the ceiling fan. I have to get out of here. White noise flooded her ears as she jumped from the bed and raced from the room. Weevil would pick her up, and he wouldn’t ask questions. The next week was a blur. She couldn’t face him, couldn’t stand that she’d let him get close enough to almost humiliate her like that. It was ridiculous. Hadn’t she learned all she needed to know about Logan Echolls the last year of her life? Memories of his tender words, comforting touches, and promises of support challenged her bitterness, but she forced them down.

Keeping to what she did best, Veronica avoided Logan and moved on as much as she could, grateful for Weevil backing her up. At the end of a particularly long day, she grabbed her books and made to leave school as quickly as possible and found her escape blocked. Bea… Cassidy said he had information for her. He told her Logan didn’t actually stay in Mexico, and instead left early to confront Lilly.

 _Logan came back?_ If Logan drove back on that trip, it meant he didn’t have an alibi anymore. _First the camera, now this._ Her blood pounded in her ears and she clenched her fists at her sides. _If Logan was HERE…_ Veronica remembered how possessive he was of Lilly, and the night Lilly… well that day she told Veronica she had a secret. If Weevil was that secret, and Logan found out... The memory of Logan smashing her headlights flashed through her mind. _He definitely has the rage._ Other, more recent memories of Logan tried to worm their way forward, but Veronica refused to remember the good times. _Obviously I didn’t know him at all._

Veronica grabbed her phone, ready to call her dad. He would know what to do with it, he’d be able to verify if Logan really had come back in time to kill Lilly. And he’d know better than Veronica if Logan was lying. Her gut clenched and she felt a pang of guilt at the thought of Logan in the cold interrogation room. An image of Logan’s soft face telling her “whatever you need” forced it’s way through… she shook it away. After finding the camera, Veronica couldn’t be sure of anything with Logan. She couldn’t trust herself to read Logan.

He dad verified Cassidy’s claim, and later informed her Lilly even got the gift Logan left for her. She felt herself go numb. Suspecting and knowing what Logan did were two different things, and now Veronica knew Logan... But his eyes… the soft vulnerability she’d seen there wouldn’t go away. Growling, Veronica stomped to her car and headed home, shoving her memories of Logan as deep in her brain as she could.

She wasn’t expecting Logan to call, hoped she could put this whole thing – _Logan_ – behind her. Shortsighted of her, honestly. He didn’t know where they actually stood, not that she wanted him to at this point. Pushing aside the desperation she heard in his voice was difficult. _Of course he’s desperate, he just wants me to get him off the hook._ She wondered how many times she would have to tell herself that before she actually believed it. But Logan was a liar. She knew firsthand how nasty he could get when he felt betrayed – _but he never laid a hand on you_ – she willed her stupid emotional voice to shut up. Just because he never laid a her didn't mean he couldn't have done so to Lilly. Logan also never loved her like he loved Lilly. What he did to Lilly… well the situations were different.

Veronica hoped walking Backup would calm her down, help her to be rational. Her dad agreed with her: Logan was violent and explosive. He could have easily killed Lilly. No matter what the doubting voice in the back of her head kept saying.

Her heart nearly stopped when “I guess we’re broken up now” rang piercing behind her. She couldn’t remember how she responded, her muscles felt tight and weak and every part of her was tense. Logan left as Veronica’s dad came to her rescue, but something he said stuck with her, niggling at the growing doubt: “I’d never hurt her”. His face, those words… it couldn’t be true. Logan was the only suspect with no alibi, the only suspect that made sense. _Is he? Shut up brain._ Images of a screaming Duncan and sneering Weevil popped into her head. _Stop being ridiculous, Veronica. Logan has to be guilty. It just makes sense. … Right?_

Try though she might, she couldn’t help herself and she decided to go back over her files. There was something in Logan’s face, something in his voice, which she wasn’t able to ignore. His gentleness towards her still played in her head and a piece of her couldn’t rectify that Logan, the supportive ‘accept my girlfriend or you’re dead to me’ Logan, the broken vulnerable “I’d never hurt her” Logan, with one that would violently bash Lilly’s head in. No matter how betrayed he felt. It couldn’t hurt to go back over her evidence and make sure she wasn’t overlooking something.

She pulled up everyone who lacked an alibi, and realized she hadn’t cleared a single name. Not one suspect on her list had an alibi for Lilly’s actual time of death. Not Lilly’s parents, not Weevil, not even Duncan. Logan hadn’t been wrong in his earlier statement, Duncan did make a lot of sense as a suspect. His fits… he could easily not remember what happened. _Not to mention_ …. Veronica shoved the thoughts of her confrontation with Duncan from her mind. _Definitely still suspect_. She didn’t really suspect Lilly’s parents. Despite their issues, they never showed signs of violence and she couldn’t imagine either of them snapping in such a way. The cover-up pointed more towards Duncan anyway. And there was still Weevil. You didn’t get to be the leader of a biker gang by being non-violent. Veronica was no stranger to his form of retribution, either. Maybe Lilly decided to get back with Logan, and that was the last straw for Weevil? It didn’t feel right, not in her gut, but thinking of other possibilities, looking back at the evidence, made her realize she made a mistake.

Veronica had dialed the number before she knew what she was doing. _Three rings and he hasn’t picked up… maybe I should just –_

“I thought we said all we needed to say on the beach.”

It took her a moment to reply, she didn’t actually expect him to answer. Her response came out choked, and much more timid than she’d planned: “I think I made a mistake”.

“What d’you want, V’ronica?”

 _What do I want?_ “I want some answers, Logan. I want to talk.”

Veronica held her breath. She didn’t know, she wasn’t sure, but she needed to know which Logan was real. Only one person could give her those answers.

“Now you want answers?” He sounded so tired. Veronica remembered his face on the beach and anxiety flooded her. His following chuckle was dark and did nothing to calm the racing of her heart. “What if it’s too late for that?”

“Where are you, Logan?” Her anxiety blossomed into fear as she remembered Logan’s tendency to self-destruct.

“S’it matter to you?”

“I already told you – ”

“Yeah, your precious answers. Y’know what, fuck you Veronica. I’ve got no answers for you.”

The line went dead and a cold panic set it. Veronica willed herself calm and tried to think through what to do next. If Logan wouldn’t talk to her, maybe he was guilty… _Did he sound guilty to you?_ Maybe not guilty… maybe she’d pushed him too far away to get him back now. But how else could she get answers? It’s not like she could talk to Lilly. _Where would Logan go?_ The beach? He’d always appreciated the ocean much the way she did. Maybe she could find him… She raced out the door before she could change her mind.

Maybe it was fate, but Logan’s yellow monstrosity stuck out like a sore thumb, and Veronica didn’t actually have to look that hard to find him. He sat in the sand, bottles a clear indicator of his current state. Veronica approached slowly and lowered herself to the sand next to him. He didn’t even glance her way, nursing his current bottle instead.

“Can’t you tell when you’re not wanted?” he snapped after she’d let the silence fester.

“I think… I’m sorry, Logan.” _Maybe an apology will get us off to a better start this time._ He offered a scoff in return. “I know it may not seem like it, but after finding the cameras I just couldn’t trust myself to be –”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

 _I guess he’s not as drunk as I thought_. “The cameras,” she explained. “In the guest room? I thought if you… I mean if you would do that to me –”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He finally looked at her, and Veronica had a horrible, completely obvious realization.

“You didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?”

The gravity of her misunderstanding punched straight to her gut. “Logan, I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry.” _Why would he know about the cameras? What kid installs professional grade cameras in their parent’s house?_ “Logan, when we were in your house the other day, and we went to your guest room… when you left I found a camera in the ceiling fan. I thought… well…” her throat burned with the truth of her mistake, and she had to force the rest out, “I thought you brought me in there to… you know…”

“Oh my god. Are you fucking kidding me? What the _fuck_ , Veronica, you thought I brought you in there to _film_ you?”

“Yeah,” was all she could manage.

“And how the fuck… how would that even make sense?” he faltered, folding in on himself. “Why didn’t you just _talk_ to me?”

“I don’t know.” She dropped her head to her hands, pulling at her hair. “I don’t know. I just panicked. And then from there… I think I just let that paranoia take over. I mean, if you’d film me, why not kill Lilly?”

“What the _fuck_ , Veronica?”

“I told you I made a mistake.”

He was silent a moment, then in barely a whisper… “Is that who you think I am?”

“I…” she wanted to protest ‘of course not’ but realizing what she put him through, it didn’t seem fair. How could she have ever thought him capable of killing anyone, let alone Lilly? “I got vulnerable with you, Logan, and… my natural tendency to avoid all vulnerability… it… it messed me up.”

“What am I supposed to do with that, Veronica? I would _never_ have thought that of you.”

He’d turned away from her, put distance between them without actually moving, but he really didn’t need to. His body language was enough, and Veronica felt the weight of it in her heart.

“I’ve got a thousand excuses, Logan. Some valid, most… garbage. But I’m here to apologize, as late as it may be. I’m sorry.” He offered no response and she decided to continue on, she still had a murder to solve after all. “I do need to know, Logan, what did you do after you left the shot glass and letter in Lilly’s car?”

He chuckled, bitter and short, but replied “I went back for Dick and Cassidy. I was their ride.”

“Wait, you went back to Mexico?”

“Well I wasn’t going to leave Dick stranded.”

“Why didn’t Cassidy mention that?” She could puzzle that out later. “What time did you cross the border?”

He sighed, heavy and long “I don’t know. Maybe 5:30, or 6.”

Veronica jumped to her feet, new determination and excitement coursing through her. “Logan, you couldn’t have done it!”

“What d’you mean? Lilly died at 4. Timeline works out perfect.” He took another pull on his bottle, maintaining their distance.

“No, you don’t understand, she died after 6. The initial time of death was wrong.” Logan was silent, but looked at her with more hope than she’d seen since the night at his house. “That’ll clear you, Logan. You couldn’t have done it.” She dropped next to him. “I wish you would have just told me about your alibi. I would’ve known…”

“I didn’t want to give you another reason to hate me… I’d already caused so much –” he broke off and looked away.

Veronica reached for him, brushing her hand across his cheek. “You didn’t do that to me, Logan. You’ve done nothing but support me. I’m sorry I didn’t see it…”

Logan leaned into her hand, but pushed her away after a moment. “That’s great, Veronica. But I can’t. I… I’ve just wanted to be with you this whole week and today… I just wanted everything to stop, Veronica. Lilly, and my mom, and you… You said you trusted me that day, you told me you trusted me.” He stood, not looking at her as he stepped away. “Thank you for coming, for talking to me, but I can’t.”

Veronica sat stunned on the ground processing his words. She didn’t go after him, if he needed time or space, she’d give it to him. He deserved for her to respect him, he’d earned that from much from her at least. But she did have something else she needed to do tonight, and another person she needed to confront.

Decided to find the letter for Logan went a direction she never could have imagined. She’d intended to collect the letter, maybe confront Duncan on his lack of alibi, but she couldn’t have expected to end up riding in an ambulance after discovering Logan’s father… well, everyone would know now. But she was fine, her dad would be fine, and her mom would be gone. She sat in the living room, processing the turn of events and wondered if Logan knew. She had just decided to call him when a knock sounded at her door.


End file.
